Tuesday, July 20, 2010

6 MONTHS!!!! EEK!!!!

Six months ago from this very minute, I believe I was bawling my eyes out because I was delirious from having only about 3 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period....and I felt like a horrible kitty mama for leaving Desi alone all day in a strange place right after traumatizing her by flying her across the country. That moment was not a sign of things to come. In the last 6 months, I have had a ton of wonderful experiences, shared with some wonderful new friends which just makes all of those moment that much more unforgettable. I'm living out a dream...


Funny thing happened today which I think is a wonderful way to mark my 6 months. See....I have a few songs that I call my 'California songs'. They're songs that would always remind me of Cali and for some strange reason, anytime in the two years that I saved up to get here that I would feel down or doubt that I would ever make it out here, I'd get in the car and one of those songs would come on the radio. Well....today a friend of mine and I were laying on the beach. I had put Pandora on my phone so we were just chilling by the ocean and listening to some good tunes. Right as I was thinking about how I've been living here for 6 months 'Free Falling' by Tom Petty came on Pandora. This was my mother of all California songs! It was just a wonderful way to celebrate the day! :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Embrace The Crazy In All Of Us!

What's wrong with being a little crazy? Now, I'm not talking putting people in harm crazy. I'm talking about everyday quirky crazy! I've always thought that I've had plenty of crazy in me to go around, but now I'm thinking that everyone is a little crazy and just hide it back more. I'm unashamed and I think more people should let a little crazy out. That way, it's not as shocking to loved ones when it does eventually come out!

Here's some of my crazy....

I've got some irrational fears. The most namely is big trucks. I don't like to be near them....in a car, walking near it....it is a genuine fear. Why am I afraid of them you ask? Well....first of all, if you get into an accident with one....good luck surviving. Walking near them....I don't know I'm terrified that the back part of the truck is going to tip over on top of me. I know....irrational fear. No matter how much I talk myself out of it, I still have that fear.

Dismorphia....this is something that I really suspect most people to have to a certain degree. I don't have it severely, but I do see things in the mirror that are not the case. I don't have it bad enough to even be tempted to have an eating disorder or want plastic surgery....nor do I ever see it getting that bad. But, I really truely think that most people have this one, but are too ashamed to admit it!

OCD!!!! Come on.....everyone's got this one. Let it all out people. What are your obsessive compulsions? I need things to be even! If I bump into something with my right arm, don't be surprised if you see me bump into that same thing with my left arm, just to even things up. Crazy right??? I KNOW!

Catastrophizing....yes....it's a word. It took some professional help to point this one out. Basically, it's a thinking error. When something happens that may be minor, I tend to let my mind think that it's the end of the world and I go into little panic attacks. Like I said, professional help pointed this out and also helped me deal with it. It still happens, but I know how to talk myself out of reacting so badly to these mishaps.

I mentioned professional help a few times up there. I am completely open about the fact that I was in therapy over a year ago. I don't think therapy is a thing that people should be afraid to admit to. I actually think it's something that more people should go to. It's good. It's healthy. There'd be a lot less people snapping and killing people if they all had someone help them cope with everything going on it their heads. It's hard to deal with some stuff that life throws at us sometimes and it's perfectly okay to ask other people to help us. I repeat....it's perfectly okay to ask other people to help us! It's not weakness....if anything, it shows more strength because you are not a coward. I personally sought out help because I felt betrayed by a family member and had a lot of hate in me....I didn't know how to deal with that! I also have Seasonal Effective Disorder (winter blues)....cure? Hello California! So, I was in therapy for about 6 months, until I got laid off and lost my insurance. It was still enough to really help me through some crappy things that were going on in my life!

I'm sharing all of this because I feel like not enough people admit to the crazy that we all have going on inside of us. I hate the stigma of therapy too. I'm cool with telling people that I went, but some people react different than others. It's like they hear therapy and automatically think that there's something wrong with me. Not really the case. Yeah....I'm crazy....but I bet you're just as crazy! You just choose to hide it! :)

The point on this rant is to encourage people to share their crazy with all of us! :) Embrace it....Own it...Admit it....Share it.....trust me, you'll feel so much better!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Fun Fun Fun

So....I've been super busy trying to work as much as I can because June was not the greatest tipping month....and of course the worst two weeks were right after I bought a nice fancy new phone. Te he he. But, it's all good!

A few weeks ago, I got a text message from my cousin Joann saying that her friend's daughter was going to be at LAX for a 23 hour layover one night. She was on her way back from studying abroad in New Zealand. She asked if I would show her around town. I had the night off so I said that I would. I called the girl....Jennifer....when I was finished with my lunch shift and the poor girl was going to just hang out at LAX until her flight the next morning....she didn't have a hotel or anything. So, I told her that she could crash at my place. So, I went to pick her up (which took longer than we though it would....te he he....it might have helped if we knew what eachother looked like or either of us were familiar with LAX...te he he). Anyway, so we just went back to my place to freshen up and then I took her to the Hollywood and Highland area. This is the area with the Kodak Theatre and Grauman's Chinese Theatre and the Hollywood Walk of Fame. So we walked around there for a bit....not realizing that it was the day before the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. It was fine for a while, but then I guess there was a meeting time for a candle light vigil at his star....which is right outside of Grauman's. It got a little crowded. After that area, we went to the Observatory....it was a super cool view at night. It was funny because she said 'it looks like the city is sparkling.' I laughed and said 'yeah....that's exhaust....but it is pretty'....te he he. It was very chilly up on that hill, so we didn't stay too long. Just took in the view and took some pictures and left. We were both getting hungry....and it was around 10pm....well passed my dinner time...te he he. So....I took her to a restaurant that I had heard about before, but never went to. Now, I'm not going to mention on here what the significance of this restaurant is because I do plan on springing it on some unsuspecting visitors when y'all come to visit. If you are incredibly curious, email me and I may tell you what it is about this place. Some of you, I will not tell and wait until you get out here....te he he! :)

Other than that, it's just been kind of boring. I haven't really been going out much because I'm saving money. But hopefully in the next couple of weeks, my playing catch up will be over and I can go have fun! :) Although I have been busy watching the World Cup. Go Netherlands in the final! Although I'm cool with either team to win. New winners! :)

I did figure out what I'm doing for my birthday!! Well....I think on the day off my birthday, I will hopefully be going to a taping of the Ellen Degeneres Show! I'm just going to put in a request for 2 tickets as soon as I can and I'll take whoever I can with me! BUT....3 days after my birthday is a Mud Run 5K in Malibu. It's a trail run with obstacles and a mud pit at the end! I've always wanted to do a mud run so I'm hopefully getting a big group of people to do it with me and then we'll go back to my place for lunch...maybe games....maybe movie marathon....maybe beach! I don't know....but I'm super excited. I hope a lot of people want to do it! I already know of about 5 people who are totally interested! :)

Well...that's about it! I'll try to keep up as much as I can...but honestly, it's been pretty boring here....te he he!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Today would be my Granddad’s 87th birthday. 87 years old! That’s unbelievable. It has been over 3 years since he passed away. You know, everyone says that it gets better with time. That’s just simply not true. As far as day to day goes….yeah it does get a little easier. In the long run though, it gets harder every day. I do take comfort in the fact that if he were still alive today, I know that his mind would not be with us. He was suffering from Alzheimer’s and although he never forgot any of the people he loved, his mind was definitely slipping.

When my Granddad was alive, he loved going on our family vacation to the beach every year. Even though in the later years he would mostly stay in the beach house, he always loved to watch the sunrises and sunsets. So, in honor of his birthday I decided to go to Santa Monica and watch a Sunset for Granddad last night. I didn’t let myself get too sad while I was there because this is in fact, the day that we celebrate his birth and celebrate his life! Before the sunset, I was a little down and a bit emotional. Afterwards, I feel so much joy for having the time that I had with my Granddad. My cousins, siblings, and I could write a book with all of the stories we have of him.

I’m going to leave you with something that I wrote right after he passed away. We had the idea that each of his Grandkids write a memory or story or poem about him so that people who came to the his viewings could really reflect on who he was. I have copies of all of my sibling’s writings. I bring them out from time to time and read them over. I wouldn’t feel comfortable posting their work since I did not ask them ahead of time, so I will just post what I wrote. It paints a picture of my favorite memory of my Granddad. So, friends and family, if you get a chance today to take a swig of Jameson or a scoop of ice cream, think of him….however you knew him: Ed, Edward, Uncle Ed, Dad, or Granddad. I now I’ll be raising a spoon for my favorite Islay boy!



I miss you Granddad!


I consider myself to be an extremely lucky person. There are a lot of people in this world that take their grandparents for granted. They’ll see them on some holidays and maybe talk to them over the phone on birthdays or other special occasions, but I feel like I really got to spend quality time with my Granddad. More than that, I learned how grateful I was to have someone like him in my life and was able to share that with him.

I never grew up with two whole sets of grandparents. My mom’s dad passed away long before I was born, and her mom passed just after my third birthday. I guess I would kind of get jealous, when I was little, about how other kids had four grandparents, but it was more for materialistic reasons than anything else. They would get two birthday parties or they would get double the Christmas presents. I didn’t realize how little that mattered until later. I never felt like I was shortchanged in love or support in any way. If anything, I felt a deeper connection with my Granddad than any of my friends felt with any of their grandparents. I’m not sure if my Granddad did it on purpose or if this is just the way he’s always been, but it was almost as if he was overcompensating for my missing out of getting to know my other grandparents.

One memory has especially been running through my head over the past month or so. One Easter when I was five or six, my family headed over to my grandparents house to spend the day and have dinner. It wasn’t until we were there that my ear began to ache. I was one of those kids that got frequent ear infections and this had been one of them. I was miserable all afternoon. They didn’t have any Children’s Tylenol in their house, and because it was Easter nothing was open that would sell it. I was lying on the couch crying and my Granddad came over and put his hand over my ear. Immediately, I felt relief and stopped crying. This was a pretty social event, and we all know that my Granddad can never sit still at these. He’s always asking if anyone needs a drink or something to eat. But, for that day, he ignored all of his guests, except for one. He sat next to me all afternoon with his hand on my ear until my mom finally found a store that was open.

This was probably my first lesson in what love and devotion is, and if there has ever been anyone in this world with those qualities, it was my Granddad. That is what he instilled in every one of his children and then consequently in every one of his grandchildren. This is the reason why we can come together and be best friends like we are. We grew up with a very strong figure in our lives to teach us about priorities in life and that family always comes first. I’m lucky that I had my Granddad around long enough to teach me that lesson. It is probably the most important lesson I will ever learn.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

'If you want to sing out, sing out....'

So I had some fun times in the last couple of days. On Saturday, a big group of us from work planned on going to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery to see Bettlejuice. I know what you're thinking. A cemetery? To watch a movie? YES! They do it in the summers on Saturdays and some Sundays and it's sort of like a drive in, but in a picnic form. Well, Beetlejuice is super popular....and honestly, who wouldn't want to watch that movie in a cemetery so we got there an hour before doors opened (2 1/2 hours before the movie actually started) and the line was GINORMOUS!!! So we waited and waited and waited and we actually got close to the entrance of the cemetery, when they said that it was full! Boo! So, we all ended up back at my place for some drinks and games! It ended up being a lot of fun!

Last night, Drea and I did something really cool. The Arclight has been doing this series of films dedicated to Paramount Classics and the one that was there last night was none other than Harold and Maude. I love this movie. I think it is a life changing movie. You watch it and you just want to be Maude!!!! If you have never seen it before, watch it! You won't regret it one bit! A friggin brilliant movie! And I guess Doris Roberts from Everybody Loves Raymond was there. When we first walked in, Drea said 'did you see who we just walked passed?' I hadn't and she told me and then I saw her from behind. Fun stuff! :) We were thinking about going to see Airplane tonight, but that didn't pan out.

But for now...I'm just staying busy, working a lot! OH....I should mention that I got my first head shots taken on Saturday!!! It was a lot of fun and I'm really excited to get them back to see what we came up with! :) I'll keep everyone posted on it!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Hollywood....I love this town!

So I had an exciting couple of days. Laura, my friend since 7th grade who now lives in San Diego, called me last week asking if I wanted to go to a filming of Lopez Tonight. She is a huge Hanson fan and that was both of our first concerts and they were going to be there so she got us tickets. So, Monday night, I picked her up from the train station and she stayed at my place that night. We got up super early and went to the filming the next morning. Man, if you want to ultimate people watching experience, go anywhere with Hanson fans! There are some strange people there....te he he. It was so much fun. They had a comedian/juggler warming up the crowd and he was so funny. There was a guy from Modern Family there. All of the guests came out right by us. George Lopez introduced the band right by us (in the youtube clip I'm putting up, I'm right next to the girl in the black shirt and white sweater int he row behind where George Lopez is....you can also see Laura and I dancing at the beginning of the song, but you might have to know where we are to actually see us). Laura told George that she watches his sitcom every night before she goes to be and he told her that she was old school. It was just so much fun! :) And we all got a free copy of their CD too. It was funny to me because I hadn't seen them since 1998 I believe....so they've changed a lot....te he he.

THEN.....on my way back from taking Laura back to the train station, I drive by the Arclight and saw that they were setting up the red carpet premiere for True Blood!!!!! I freak out because that's about 3 blocks from my apt. Andrea, Jesse, and I end up going to the hardware store a little late and drive passed again and we're there just as all of the stars are on the red carpet!!! I was driving so I could only peak, but I did see Sam Merlotte!!! Drea saw I think Jessica and Jason Stackhouse. These are the things that make me LOVE living where I live!!! :)

Anywho....here is that clip I was talking about earlier. You can try to pick us out as they pan across the crowd dancing from side to side. We are a few rows up. Laura is in a darker dress and I'm in a pink shirt. Don't feel bad if you can't see us though....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs9fNgZe6qM

I can't find a clip of when they first come on stage for the interview....that's when you can really see us! I'll keep a look out!

~Bon

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I know...I suck....

So....apparently I suck at maintaining a blog....te he he. But honestly, life has been pretty boring for me lately. I'm just working a lot. I've been in mourning since the Pens got eliminated from the playoffs....and then in even more mourning when Philly made it in. Go Hawks is all I have to say about that!

But yeah....been to a couple of concerts, been to a late night dance party. Yesterday for Memorial Day I went to a BBQ near the beach. My whole family is at the Outer Banks right now so I told my mom and we were about as far apart as we could be on this continent.

But yeah....weather has been nice and when I'm not working, I try to go out and have some fun! :) I just tried to post some pictures on here so that the post wasn't a total wash, but it won't work for some reason. Sorry....I'll try again later...