Six months ago from this very minute, I believe I was bawling my eyes out because I was delirious from having only about 3 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period....and I felt like a horrible kitty mama for leaving Desi alone all day in a strange place right after traumatizing her by flying her across the country. That moment was not a sign of things to come. In the last 6 months, I have had a ton of wonderful experiences, shared with some wonderful new friends which just makes all of those moment that much more unforgettable. I'm living out a dream...
Funny thing happened today which I think is a wonderful way to mark my 6 months. See....I have a few songs that I call my 'California songs'. They're songs that would always remind me of Cali and for some strange reason, anytime in the two years that I saved up to get here that I would feel down or doubt that I would ever make it out here, I'd get in the car and one of those songs would come on the radio. Well....today a friend of mine and I were laying on the beach. I had put Pandora on my phone so we were just chilling by the ocean and listening to some good tunes. Right as I was thinking about how I've been living here for 6 months 'Free Falling' by Tom Petty came on Pandora. This was my mother of all California songs! It was just a wonderful way to celebrate the day! :)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Embrace The Crazy In All Of Us!
What's wrong with being a little crazy? Now, I'm not talking putting people in harm crazy. I'm talking about everyday quirky crazy! I've always thought that I've had plenty of crazy in me to go around, but now I'm thinking that everyone is a little crazy and just hide it back more. I'm unashamed and I think more people should let a little crazy out. That way, it's not as shocking to loved ones when it does eventually come out!
Here's some of my crazy....
I've got some irrational fears. The most namely is big trucks. I don't like to be near them....in a car, walking near it....it is a genuine fear. Why am I afraid of them you ask? Well....first of all, if you get into an accident with one....good luck surviving. Walking near them....I don't know I'm terrified that the back part of the truck is going to tip over on top of me. I know....irrational fear. No matter how much I talk myself out of it, I still have that fear.
Dismorphia....this is something that I really suspect most people to have to a certain degree. I don't have it severely, but I do see things in the mirror that are not the case. I don't have it bad enough to even be tempted to have an eating disorder or want plastic surgery....nor do I ever see it getting that bad. But, I really truely think that most people have this one, but are too ashamed to admit it!
OCD!!!! Come on.....everyone's got this one. Let it all out people. What are your obsessive compulsions? I need things to be even! If I bump into something with my right arm, don't be surprised if you see me bump into that same thing with my left arm, just to even things up. Crazy right??? I KNOW!
Catastrophizing....yes....it's a word. It took some professional help to point this one out. Basically, it's a thinking error. When something happens that may be minor, I tend to let my mind think that it's the end of the world and I go into little panic attacks. Like I said, professional help pointed this out and also helped me deal with it. It still happens, but I know how to talk myself out of reacting so badly to these mishaps.
I mentioned professional help a few times up there. I am completely open about the fact that I was in therapy over a year ago. I don't think therapy is a thing that people should be afraid to admit to. I actually think it's something that more people should go to. It's good. It's healthy. There'd be a lot less people snapping and killing people if they all had someone help them cope with everything going on it their heads. It's hard to deal with some stuff that life throws at us sometimes and it's perfectly okay to ask other people to help us. I repeat....it's perfectly okay to ask other people to help us! It's not weakness....if anything, it shows more strength because you are not a coward. I personally sought out help because I felt betrayed by a family member and had a lot of hate in me....I didn't know how to deal with that! I also have Seasonal Effective Disorder (winter blues)....cure? Hello California! So, I was in therapy for about 6 months, until I got laid off and lost my insurance. It was still enough to really help me through some crappy things that were going on in my life!
I'm sharing all of this because I feel like not enough people admit to the crazy that we all have going on inside of us. I hate the stigma of therapy too. I'm cool with telling people that I went, but some people react different than others. It's like they hear therapy and automatically think that there's something wrong with me. Not really the case. Yeah....I'm crazy....but I bet you're just as crazy! You just choose to hide it! :)
The point on this rant is to encourage people to share their crazy with all of us! :) Embrace it....Own it...Admit it....Share it.....trust me, you'll feel so much better!
Here's some of my crazy....
I've got some irrational fears. The most namely is big trucks. I don't like to be near them....in a car, walking near it....it is a genuine fear. Why am I afraid of them you ask? Well....first of all, if you get into an accident with one....good luck surviving. Walking near them....I don't know I'm terrified that the back part of the truck is going to tip over on top of me. I know....irrational fear. No matter how much I talk myself out of it, I still have that fear.
Dismorphia....this is something that I really suspect most people to have to a certain degree. I don't have it severely, but I do see things in the mirror that are not the case. I don't have it bad enough to even be tempted to have an eating disorder or want plastic surgery....nor do I ever see it getting that bad. But, I really truely think that most people have this one, but are too ashamed to admit it!
OCD!!!! Come on.....everyone's got this one. Let it all out people. What are your obsessive compulsions? I need things to be even! If I bump into something with my right arm, don't be surprised if you see me bump into that same thing with my left arm, just to even things up. Crazy right??? I KNOW!
Catastrophizing....yes....it's a word. It took some professional help to point this one out. Basically, it's a thinking error. When something happens that may be minor, I tend to let my mind think that it's the end of the world and I go into little panic attacks. Like I said, professional help pointed this out and also helped me deal with it. It still happens, but I know how to talk myself out of reacting so badly to these mishaps.
I mentioned professional help a few times up there. I am completely open about the fact that I was in therapy over a year ago. I don't think therapy is a thing that people should be afraid to admit to. I actually think it's something that more people should go to. It's good. It's healthy. There'd be a lot less people snapping and killing people if they all had someone help them cope with everything going on it their heads. It's hard to deal with some stuff that life throws at us sometimes and it's perfectly okay to ask other people to help us. I repeat....it's perfectly okay to ask other people to help us! It's not weakness....if anything, it shows more strength because you are not a coward. I personally sought out help because I felt betrayed by a family member and had a lot of hate in me....I didn't know how to deal with that! I also have Seasonal Effective Disorder (winter blues)....cure? Hello California! So, I was in therapy for about 6 months, until I got laid off and lost my insurance. It was still enough to really help me through some crappy things that were going on in my life!
I'm sharing all of this because I feel like not enough people admit to the crazy that we all have going on inside of us. I hate the stigma of therapy too. I'm cool with telling people that I went, but some people react different than others. It's like they hear therapy and automatically think that there's something wrong with me. Not really the case. Yeah....I'm crazy....but I bet you're just as crazy! You just choose to hide it! :)
The point on this rant is to encourage people to share their crazy with all of us! :) Embrace it....Own it...Admit it....Share it.....trust me, you'll feel so much better!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Fun Fun Fun
So....I've been super busy trying to work as much as I can because June was not the greatest tipping month....and of course the worst two weeks were right after I bought a nice fancy new phone. Te he he. But, it's all good!
A few weeks ago, I got a text message from my cousin Joann saying that her friend's daughter was going to be at LAX for a 23 hour layover one night. She was on her way back from studying abroad in New Zealand. She asked if I would show her around town. I had the night off so I said that I would. I called the girl....Jennifer....when I was finished with my lunch shift and the poor girl was going to just hang out at LAX until her flight the next morning....she didn't have a hotel or anything. So, I told her that she could crash at my place. So, I went to pick her up (which took longer than we though it would....te he he....it might have helped if we knew what eachother looked like or either of us were familiar with LAX...te he he). Anyway, so we just went back to my place to freshen up and then I took her to the Hollywood and Highland area. This is the area with the Kodak Theatre and Grauman's Chinese Theatre and the Hollywood Walk of Fame. So we walked around there for a bit....not realizing that it was the day before the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. It was fine for a while, but then I guess there was a meeting time for a candle light vigil at his star....which is right outside of Grauman's. It got a little crowded. After that area, we went to the Observatory....it was a super cool view at night. It was funny because she said 'it looks like the city is sparkling.' I laughed and said 'yeah....that's exhaust....but it is pretty'....te he he. It was very chilly up on that hill, so we didn't stay too long. Just took in the view and took some pictures and left. We were both getting hungry....and it was around 10pm....well passed my dinner time...te he he. So....I took her to a restaurant that I had heard about before, but never went to. Now, I'm not going to mention on here what the significance of this restaurant is because I do plan on springing it on some unsuspecting visitors when y'all come to visit. If you are incredibly curious, email me and I may tell you what it is about this place. Some of you, I will not tell and wait until you get out here....te he he! :)
Other than that, it's just been kind of boring. I haven't really been going out much because I'm saving money. But hopefully in the next couple of weeks, my playing catch up will be over and I can go have fun! :) Although I have been busy watching the World Cup. Go Netherlands in the final! Although I'm cool with either team to win. New winners! :)
I did figure out what I'm doing for my birthday!! Well....I think on the day off my birthday, I will hopefully be going to a taping of the Ellen Degeneres Show! I'm just going to put in a request for 2 tickets as soon as I can and I'll take whoever I can with me! BUT....3 days after my birthday is a Mud Run 5K in Malibu. It's a trail run with obstacles and a mud pit at the end! I've always wanted to do a mud run so I'm hopefully getting a big group of people to do it with me and then we'll go back to my place for lunch...maybe games....maybe movie marathon....maybe beach! I don't know....but I'm super excited. I hope a lot of people want to do it! I already know of about 5 people who are totally interested! :)
Well...that's about it! I'll try to keep up as much as I can...but honestly, it's been pretty boring here....te he he!
A few weeks ago, I got a text message from my cousin Joann saying that her friend's daughter was going to be at LAX for a 23 hour layover one night. She was on her way back from studying abroad in New Zealand. She asked if I would show her around town. I had the night off so I said that I would. I called the girl....Jennifer....when I was finished with my lunch shift and the poor girl was going to just hang out at LAX until her flight the next morning....she didn't have a hotel or anything. So, I told her that she could crash at my place. So, I went to pick her up (which took longer than we though it would....te he he....it might have helped if we knew what eachother looked like or either of us were familiar with LAX...te he he). Anyway, so we just went back to my place to freshen up and then I took her to the Hollywood and Highland area. This is the area with the Kodak Theatre and Grauman's Chinese Theatre and the Hollywood Walk of Fame. So we walked around there for a bit....not realizing that it was the day before the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. It was fine for a while, but then I guess there was a meeting time for a candle light vigil at his star....which is right outside of Grauman's. It got a little crowded. After that area, we went to the Observatory....it was a super cool view at night. It was funny because she said 'it looks like the city is sparkling.' I laughed and said 'yeah....that's exhaust....but it is pretty'....te he he. It was very chilly up on that hill, so we didn't stay too long. Just took in the view and took some pictures and left. We were both getting hungry....and it was around 10pm....well passed my dinner time...te he he. So....I took her to a restaurant that I had heard about before, but never went to. Now, I'm not going to mention on here what the significance of this restaurant is because I do plan on springing it on some unsuspecting visitors when y'all come to visit. If you are incredibly curious, email me and I may tell you what it is about this place. Some of you, I will not tell and wait until you get out here....te he he! :)
Other than that, it's just been kind of boring. I haven't really been going out much because I'm saving money. But hopefully in the next couple of weeks, my playing catch up will be over and I can go have fun! :) Although I have been busy watching the World Cup. Go Netherlands in the final! Although I'm cool with either team to win. New winners! :)
I did figure out what I'm doing for my birthday!! Well....I think on the day off my birthday, I will hopefully be going to a taping of the Ellen Degeneres Show! I'm just going to put in a request for 2 tickets as soon as I can and I'll take whoever I can with me! BUT....3 days after my birthday is a Mud Run 5K in Malibu. It's a trail run with obstacles and a mud pit at the end! I've always wanted to do a mud run so I'm hopefully getting a big group of people to do it with me and then we'll go back to my place for lunch...maybe games....maybe movie marathon....maybe beach! I don't know....but I'm super excited. I hope a lot of people want to do it! I already know of about 5 people who are totally interested! :)
Well...that's about it! I'll try to keep up as much as I can...but honestly, it's been pretty boring here....te he he!
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